I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience the yearning for vindication for my reaction of being offended by another in some way without seeing how I’m participating in the same aggression myself. What I see and judge in another would have to exist in me in order to react according to this relationship in my mind that simply doesn’t exist in reality between myself and another.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge what I perceive as belligerence and passive aggression in others in relation to my own experience of cultivating the same point within and as myself, as if to create the perfect, inviolate point that another wouldn’t be able to place into a category in their mind. Instead of defining myself within this trivia, I commit to following through with the deconstruction of each point of self-judgment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be distracted from reality by another’s interpretation of me within their mind, believing that I must control the dynamics of how my intended self image is interpreted when it isn’t even a sustainable aspect of life. I stop looking for strength within something so insubstantial and commit to life without the filters of self image and tunnel vision.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that there is no way to avoid participation in self-manipulation within the belief that it’s an aspect of human nature, which has been the point of following along with the tacit agreement of self manipulation within myself. I commit to become the point of change through exposing the system of manipulation within myself for what it is.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to prejudge anyone who wants to interact with me as a potential patronizer, while wanting to avoid being perceived in the context of this same judgment in the belief that every form of interaction is manipulation. I commit to stopping all prejudices and prejudgments within myself in the moment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience the desire to play the role of the accuser silently and secretly in my mind as an untouchable authority in full awareness of this self deceit for the sake of entertainment, without directing myself practically or responsibly for the sake of life beyond my own scope of familiarity. I commit to following through with life without the habit of condemning others to justify my existence in relation to anyone else.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dwell on trivial details of relationships in order to determine my status within them, without realizing how I am diminishing myself, while I am the one allowing myself to indulge in the experience of being offended and diminished, which is bullshit in any context. I commit to stopping the trivia of my own mind that I use to blind myself to reality.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to protect this worthless investment in self-image and self-indulgent mythology despite full conscious awareness that it’s completely unsustainable. I stop the point of endless manipulation within myself as I commit to facing who I am in reality without reinforcing the patterns or the false front.